It’s Friday and I wish there was a doughnut cart in my driveway.
And also a Starbucks.
But that’s never going to happen. The zoning board would never allow it.
Anyway, welcome to your Friday, internet friends. I bet you’re all excited to get the weekend going. You’ve probably all got a six pack of Smirnoff Ice and a Coldplay CD waiting for you or something. Nothing sounds more thrilling than that.
Except, this weekend is also the Grammys. You know how I love a good awards show.
And the Grammys are one of the best. Because of:
The time J.Lo wore this.
The time Adele won everything.
And of course, the time we learned (as if we didn’t already know) that Kanye is a super douchebag.
So of course, I’ll be watching this Sunday.
But as I was thinking about the Grammys, I started thinking of an idea for another awards show that I think we all would enjoy watching.
The Grammys of Instagram. Except music isn’t really involved.
Here are the categories:
3. Sunsets while you’re driving.
4. Other people’s babies.
5. Anything posted by a Kardashian.
6. Good food pictures.
7. Bad food pictures.
8. You when you were a baby. Or you from last year. #throwbackthursday.
9. The home manicure you just did that you are so proud of but actually looks like you let a blind monkey do it.
10. Selfies. So many selfies.
11. Screenshots of text conversations that you think are funny but really aren’t.
12. You when you’re going out.
13. Drinks that you drink when you’re going out.
14. You and your drunk friends when you’re going out.
15. You and drunk strangers that you meet at the bar when you’re going out.
16. Creeping pictures of strangers wearing or doing strange things.
17. Creepy pictures of attractive strangers just because they are attractive.
18. You and your significant other. All the time.
20. Inspirational quotes set over an unrelated photo that you stole off the internet.
Well, there are the categories.
I bet it’d be just as good as the Grammys.
Except everyone would be wearing skinny jeans and pretending they didn’t actually want to be there, but still be ironically Instagramming the whole thing.
I’d watch it.